Discover more from the 1-1-1 newsletter
1-1-1: all about friendships
read about how to identify quality friendships and navigating the sunk cost fallacy.
april, 2023
edition 12.
wooo happy april! I can’t believe it’s the FOURTH month of 2023 already… I feel like this year just started :’) today
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
announcements
a new pod episode is out, this one is about letting go of friendships. I actually filmed this back in march but it feels topical now; the universe works in funny ways — listen to it on apple, spotify, and google <3
one quote
“I hope you learn how to let go of a love that won’t love you back. II hope you learn how to let go of the stories you tell yourself, of the ways in which you have let all that has hurt you, all that has bruised your soul, convince you that you needed to settle for less than what your heart desired. I hope you learn how to let go of the parts of yourself that make you feel like you are not worthy of the kind of love that teaches you, and hopes for you.
But above all else, I hope you learn how to let go of the idea that you cannot be this person for yourself. You are your own safe place. Make your alone a beautiful place to be.”
—unknown
one journal prompt
write down a list of every single friend you have in your life. now label them as an energy giver, neutral, or an energy taker.
evaluate.
one piece of advice
“can you talk about the sunk-cost fallacy in friendships? I’m struggling because I want to keep long-term relationships but I also don’t know when to let go”
oof, this is literally what the newest podcast episode is about. without giving too much away, here’s what I would say:
if you met this person today and you had no prior history, would you want them in your life?
sometimes the answer is yes, but sometimes the answer is no. whatever that answer is, listen to it. listen to your gut.
I’m definitely a sucker for keeping relationships around for longer than they should be because I want to have ‘childhood best friends’ (if you know my history, you know that I moved from HK to the US for high school, aka my formative years, so some of my longest friendships right now are just about to hit the 8 year mark — which is long but not as long as if I met them in elementary school!!) but I have to remind myself that I can’t force friendships. if they’re not meant to be, they’re not meant to be.
as for the sunk cost fallacy…
[ for those who don’t know, the sunk cost fallacy is a popular term in economics which refers to the phenomenon where you’re hesitant to let go of something because you’ve invested so much into it already. however, letting go of it may be a better decision in the long run ]
time =/= the quality of a friendship!
the beautiful thing about life is that you’re going to meet sooo many different people. some of them are going to touch your heart in a beautiful way for a short period of time. some of them are going to stick around and become a bigger part of your life.
some important markers of a friendship that isn’t time: how comfortable you feel around them, how much growth you inspire in both of your lives, the amount of memories you have together, how similar your personalities are, and how much you cherish your friendship.
if you’re interested in how to let go of a friendship, I would highly recommend listening to this weeks podcast because it talks about this + more!
reading updates
currently reading: a court of wings and ruin by sarah j. maas (fantasy/romance)
I’m about half way through the third book in the ACOTAR series… and these are hefty (700~ pages) books too. definitelyyyyy in my reading era <3
just finished: a court of mist and fury by sarah j. maas
if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)
until we meet again,
katie
1-1-1: all about friendships
So insightful! On my way to listen to this week's podcast!💕