1-1-1: fostering genuine connections
read about how I deal with social isolation and my tips to deepen friendships
april, 2023
edition 15.
no way it’s may [may 1 update: it definitely wasn’t may when I wrote this — I got confused with my dates oops!]. i’m graduating college in less than three weeks… insanity doesn’t even begin to describe how that makes me feel.
& i’m not going to lie… the ‘f the slump era’ series has been super good for my mental health. it’s helping me make a conscious decision every day to do something, anything, that I know will nourish my soul. if you want to follow along, it’s all happening on my instagram!
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
podcast
this week’s podcast is about how to create the life that you want. it touches on how to shed the expectations of others and some reminders you may need if you’re feeling socially alone — listen here <3
& please consider supporting me to keep this content free — learn how to subscribe here.
one quote
“the greatest act of rebellion in a sick society is to heal yourself, then softly help others heal too”
—unknown
one journal prompt
think about a relationship in your life (either romantic or platonic). what is the most attractive non-physical trait about this person? can you name something that drew you to them — something that made you want to be friends with them?
one piece of advice
“Hey Katie! Thank you so much for all of your help! I just wanted to say that I didn’t expect my 20’s to feel this lonely. I’m surrounded by so many people, but I can’t seem to form any tight connections. Surprisingly, it’s a universal experience. Do you have any advice on forming and specifically maintaining a strong connection with friends? Thank you!”
hi to you too & you’re so so welcome! I’m trying to bring some of my friends on the podcast before I graduate because I know so many of my close friends can speak to this as well!
for now, let me first empathize with you and say that I also struggle with this and have felt this way time and time again — you are not alone in this feeling. I don’t want to place myself as an expert on this topic because I’m definitely still learning but I do have a few things I do to foster connection:
have an initial conversation on communication, boundaries, and expectations. i know it sounds scary, but it doesn’t have to be! you can talk about how you often text your friends and what to do if conflict arises. save the more intense conversations for later. this is a great way to set the expectation for communication (if that’s important to you — i’ve learned that it’s important to me!)
play 36 questions to fall in love, we’re not really strangers, or something similar at any stage of the friendship
make sure conversations are a mix between past, present, and future topics: a friendship based on trauma dumping won’t be successful; neither would a friendship consisting only on someone’s current struggles. I like to think about how growth can be emphasized in conversations because it helps to foster connection
do activities together! have a picnic, watch the sunset, do homework together, grab coffee… have small activities that you can do together to make memories (and it doubles to make sure that your relationship doesn’t solely hinge on personal growth because that can be exhausting!)
try new things together (same concept as above)! take a pottery class, try a workout class, or do something out of (both of) your comfort zone(s)!
make time for each other weekly, whether that be a meal or a specific afternoon for an activity, schedule it
and if it’s a long distance friend, you can always do what I’m doing with a few of my friends right now…
create a journal! fill it with quotes, pictures, memories of the two of you together, updates, checkpoints, prompts, and whatever else you want. make sure you write your address on the inner cover and send it back and forth between you two!
I hope that helps <3 I know social isolation is a hard topic to talk about but please know that, as you said, it is a universal experience. there is no shame or stigma if you’re going through this or have gone through this!!! sending everyone so so SO much love today and every day!
reading updates
currently reading: heir of fire by sarah j. maas
finished this week: throne of glass, crown of midnight, and the assassin’s blade by sarah j. maas
if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)
enjoyed this edition?
until we meet again,
katie
i never fail to love these 🙂