1-1-1: getting clear for 2023
read about how to stop comparing yourself to what you see online and how to ACTUALLY get your life in order for the new year.
december, 2022
edition 02.
happy december!
I’ve moved from mailchimp to substack so the format of this list looks slightly different. I hope you still continue to enjoy these newsletters! also with substack, you can view all of my old emails right here :)
you can expect one email from me every two weeks containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
announcements
i’m participating in @op_e___n’s free january breathwork challenge (y’all know I love to hack my brain with challenges) and I’d love for you to join me! sign up here; sign ups close dec 31st.
one quote
“Maybe the only reason you feel ’stuck’ or uncertain or confused with where you’re going is because all you know is where you’ve been. But what if this is actually the growth you’ve been preparing for? Maybe right now you’re on the brink of something really beautiful, you just don’t know it yet. But you feel it inside your bones that something is about to change.
Maybe it isn’t some big change everyone will notice but something within yourself. And that is enough. There is something really admirable about being able to look at where you’ve been without judgement but instead with compassion; it’s only then you’ll be able to step into who you’re supposed to become.”
— Kristen Corley
one journal prompt
what are 5 habits I want to keep in the new year?
one piece of advice
“I’m 31. How do I not get discouraged seeing people (like you!) on social media who seem so far ahead of me at such a young age?
I still feel so lost in life and I constantly compare myself to people who are younger than me who seem to be on such a better trajectory. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time, and now I’m confused on where to go to make sure I don’t keep doing that.”
first of all, hi! I love learning more about you all (my community <3) and so it’s really cool to hear that my content can be inspiring and/or resonate with you.
like the first email, I’m going to try to respond and provide insight in a few different segments.
I. comparison
it’s increasingly more common for people to feel the need to compare highlight reels on social media. because, remember — that’s all social media is. it was *technically* designed to help you keep in touch with your family and friends but, once we started following people we don’t know personally, it turned into the worlds biggest highlight reel. as much as I try to show the good and bad parts of my life, I’d still consider my social media to be a highlight reel — it’s hard not to want to show the best parts of my life.
so first, I’d try to remind you that, regardless of how ‘authentic’ or ‘genuine’ anyone on the internet seems to be, it is ALWAYS a highlight reel. it is really hard to show everything on social media.
second, I’m with you in the comparison boat. in october, I had (what seemed like) weekly mental breakdowns when I heard about my peers interviewing and being offered jobs at corporate banks and consulting firms. as someone in the economics sector, it’s really common for ‘finance people’ to interview and secure a job post-graduation in the fall semester.
something my mom had to remind me about this is: I don’t even want to work in the finance sector. I don’t want to work at the banks, at consulting firms, or anywhere that was hiring in the fall. I have different ambitions and goals for myself and most of my job hunting occurs in the spring. so when you’re caught in the web of comparison, you need to ask yourself: am I comparing my life (and beating myself up) over something I don’t even want?
II. getting your life in order
this is my favourite bit! the theme of this email is about just this — seeing what works (and what doesn’t!) before 2023. going back to comparison: it’s easy to compare and wish for a life that others have if you’re not sure what you want yours to look like. so, with that in mind, here’s what I would suggest:
get clear: what are your life-long goals (i.e. what do you want to achieve before you pass away?) and then can you break those down into yearly or 5-year goals?
if there are goals that are time sensitive, I find it helpful to have a rough plan of when you want to achieve them. want to practice law? well, how long would law school take? how long would you need to study to get into law school? if you want to be a lawyer by 35, when do you (roughly) have to start?
unfollow and unsubscribe from the people who aren’t inspiring you (even me! especially if I’m a source of discomfort or unhealthy comparison). YOU curate your internet feed so take the control back.
reach out to people who work in fields that you may be interested in to learn more from them. maybe this is my inner econ nerd coming out but asking for ‘coffee chats’ isn’t as scary or uncommon as you may think. if you know someone in a field you may be interested in, or even at a company you want to work at, reach out!
1% better every day. when you feel the inner urge to change your life, it can be really discouraging to not have everything changed *now.* remember: change takes time. find some habits you want to start (going to the gym, drinking 2L of water a day, etc) and start there. strive to be 1% better every day.
resources:
how to: jumpstart your 2023 (by yours truly)
the defining decade by meg jay — it’s written for people in their 20s but it’s definitely applicable to anyone at any stage of their life. it breaks up life into 3 segments: work, romance, and mind/body.
the 3-2-1 newsletter by james clear — the structure that this newletter is based off of! james clear is the author of the award winning book atomic habits, and he has incredible wisdom to share.
@kaylabarnes on instagram — she posts about maximizing human potential and I find her words extremely inspiring.
101 essays that will change the way you think by brianna weist — another incredible book by one of my favourite authors. not only is this a great way to get into reading, but it’s chock full of incredible (short) essays.
until we meet again,
katie