1-1-1: how to be quietly confident
read my thoughts on confidence, some resources on how to connect with yourself better, and a real-time mindset shift!
november, 2023
edition 40.
wooowwwww I’ve just gotten back from lisbon and honestly I’m in a haze. my life in London is so hectic (tuesdays especially) and I’m so sad that I wasn’t able to edit a podcast in time for today — I haven’t dropped the ball like this in a while and I’m trying not to beat myself up for it.
^that being said, here’s a moment where I am actually feeling terrible about my work ethic and my inability to manage my time… you can see the spiral.
I talk a lot about mindset changes and how I’m working through it so this is a real-time example of what I would tell myself: it’s okay that I’m not putting out a podcast episode today; no one expects you to be perfect; meet yourself with the same grace that everyone reading this newsletter will meet you with. you are a human and humans make mistakes. it’s better to put out something you’re happy with than to put something out because you feel obligated to.
in other news: my course work is starting to ramp up a little bit and I’m finally starting to feel like a student again. I’m going to have to rework my understanding of balance because I’m also trying to get back into the gym consistently. we’ll figure it out together and I’ll keep you updated on how it all goes! <3
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
podcast
unfortunately there’s no way I can put out a podcast today while keeping the quality — listen to all my past episodes here <3
one quote
“my friend is very confident and free and I always wanted to know how she does it. so one day I asked her and she just said ‘the only difference between me and you is that when people treat you badly, you think it’s because there’s something wrong with you. when people treat me badly, I think there’s something wrong with them.’”
—fairycosmos via tumblr
one journal prompt
one piece of advice
“Do you have any tips to be confident?”
funny you say this because I go between thinking I’m the shit and thinking I’m shit.
you may not know this but I used to be an extremely insecure person and I’ve actually had to train myself to have confidence.
(the above is an actual text I sent sophia yesterday)
so, with all that being said, here are some of my thoughts on confidence:
more often than not, confidence is faked. fake it until you make it! on my low days, I put on makeup and a cute outfit and those small actions make me feel 10x better
wear something you feel comfortable in and you feel good in. the better you feel about the way you look, the better you posture will be, the better you carry yourself, and the more confident you will appear
figure out your ‘uniform’ (i.e. the colors, cuts, and styles that make you feel most like you and buy more things that fit in that) — mine is definitely small top big pants oversized jacket and sneakers. I wear it all the time and I feel the most confident in that!
date yourself — it’s something I’ve spent a lot of time learning and it makes me show up in new relationships more confidently. I know what I bring to the table and I carry myself with that knowledge
there’s a fine line between self love and narcissism. I want to preach the former! confidence ≠ narcissism
going off the above: spend time alone. get to know yourself and learn to LOVE your own company. I find that quiet confidence is knowing your worth and not feeling the need to overcompensate and prove that to others
if you’re feeling bold, make a drastic change to your appearance. cut off your hair or dye it. start wearing a completely different style. try a new style of eyeliner (or start wearing eyeliner if that hasn’t been your gig). basically, change it up in a way that feels authentic to you!
and 5 of my own posts that may be beneficial:
ultimately, know that confidence is something that develops over time. there are no ‘quick tips’ I could give you (unfortunately). get to know yourself and be rooted in the understanding of how incredible you are. knowing what you bring to the table without the need to be acknowledged is true confidence.
reading updates
currently reading: seven days in june by tia williams, babel by r.f. kuang
finished this week:
n/a :(
if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)
enjoyed this edition?
until we meet again,
katie
“i go between thinking i’m the shit and thinking i’m shit”
realest thing i’ve read in a hot minute
> “wear something you feel comfortable in and you feel good in”
i have like 3 decent outfits but every time i wear one of them the day feels much better 😂
i swear every time i start thinking about something you go and write about it. i kid you not, for the last hour i’ve been thinking about how i need to be more “actively alone” and do things i enjoy, and then i go and open your newsletter and you’ve neatly summarized everything i’ve been thinking. over the summer i was very alone because none of my friends lived near me. i thought i’d be depressed but i learned to “date myself” like you said, and i don’t think i’ve ever been quite so happy. trying to get back there and it’s a struggle but your newsletter gives me the encouragement to do it :)
Hello Katie. i hope you're doing amazing!!
this was just so wholesome and heart-soothing. like the feeling of a warm hug.
thank you for these newsletters, i truly adore them, your podcasts too, they are just so relatable, real, and comforting. so thank you really. don't beat yourself over the podcast, you're human remember, post it whenever you feel satisfied, that would be great. take care, so much love 💗