1-1-1: letting go gracefully
read about how to set boundaries, let go of relationships, and know your self worth.
march, 2023
edition 10.
this week is spring break so I’m writing to on a friday night in preparation for my travels.
also happy 10th edition of the 1-1-1 newsletter in 2023. wow. thank you for supporting this passion project and turning it into what it is. I’m so excited to continue writing and growing with you all!!!
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
announcements
a new pod episode is out, this one is about my most recent shlumppppp era (aka my terrible mental health recently). I talk about ways to support your friends, how to reach out for support, and other tidbits about not feeling well — listen to it on apple, spotify, and google <3
**also! the podcast has always been available on google podcasts but I’ve never advertised it. if you haven’t been able to access the podcast thus far, please let me know if google podcasts work for you.
one quote
“Sometimes, love doesn’t win.
Sometimes beautiful things end because you outgrow another human being, sometimes love becomes too heavy to hold — the potential and the lessons and the evolution have reached a threshold, there is nowhere else to place your hope/
However, that is not something you should deep a failure or something that should break your heart. That is something to celebrate.
You managed to car for someone in the deepest way, and you grew one another into human beings who are going to go off into this world and change other people with that love.
You did all that you could for one another, and instead of forcing something that wasn’t working or fulfilling you anymore, you chose to walk away. You chose to release your grip, to believe that there were other things in store for your hearts.
There is bravery in that.” —thought catalogue
one journal prompt
what really matters to me amidst all that is happening?
one piece of advice
“how do you allow people to leave your life without begging them to stay?”
suchhhh a great question — some of my podcast episode dives into setting boundaries but this seems like the opposite: they might want to leave your life but you want them to stay. here are some reminders for you:
the people who are meant to be in your life will stay.
you should never have to beg someone to see your worth. they either do, or they don’t belong in your life.
self love + boundaries = recognizing what you will and will not tolerate and then drawing those lines in the sand (and continually reinforcing them as needed)
some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. never mix seasonal people with lifetime expectations.
if we’re talking specifically about a romantic relationship, I watched a tiktok a few months ago that humbles. me. and reminds me of my own worth:
imagine you’re talking to your child years down the line and they ask you how you met. while talking about your story, you have to tell them that you begged your significant other to stay. you begged them to treat you with respect, to see your worth, or to text you back. imagine that is the precedent you’re setting for your future child. would you still let them back in your life?
this is less applicable to platonic friendships but it’s still a really interesting exercise.
something that was said to me during a very emotionally intense ending of a relationship is the following:
“i want to start by saying i respect you, the choice you made, and your willingness to be blunt. […] i know you think carefully about your friends and treat them well.”
there is so much strength in letting go of someone or something with grace. you don’t always have to agree with someone else’s decision (in this case, them leaving your life), but recognize that they most likely put a lot of thought into it.
if they’ve told you that this relationship is no longer serving them, it is not your place to tell them it is or gaslight them by giving them examples. please don’t beg someone to stay — it just makes it harder on the both of you.
more resources if you need it:
until we meet again,
katie
This was really amazing, especially coming out of a breakup.