1-1-1: stop planning, start living
read about how to take actionable steps towards your goals and F THE SLUMP ERA once and for all.
october, 2023
edition 36.
I’m writing this a day before my first ~weekend trip~ from LHR and I am. so. excited.
I can’t begin to explain how good moving abroad has been for my mental health. I think there’s something to be said about living in a completely different place when you’re in your 20s — being thrown so out of your comfort zone and having to find a community can be extremely daunting but also a fun challenge. I’m starting a mini-series on my podcast titled ‘moving to a new city’ (wow the creativity katie!) about my entire journey with it so check it out if ya want :’)
other than that, I’ve started school and while I miss my summer days, I do love having a routine. I’m trying to balance making friends in my cohort/program and also outside of school in general and I’m definitely diving head first into my social life.
that means that other aspects of my life (namely reading) has taken a backseat — but I’m here to tell you that you can’t do everything at 100% capacity. something has to give! it’s okay if one aspect of your life that was once your priority isn’t anymore. we have to adapt our systems with our lives, not vice versa.
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
podcast
new episode about creating a community for the mini-series about moving to a new city — listen to it here <3
one quote
“the cure to self sabotage is to anchor yourself to the universal truth that you are worth it. you are worth the effort. you are worth the difficulty, you are worth the time, you are worth the consideration.
there is never a point in your life, in time itself, that you are not worth it. return to this truth when you feel yourself slipping.
do not let go.”
—thesoftestrevolution on tumblr
one journal prompt
who do I want to become?
(list qualities, traits, hobbies, etc)
one piece of advice
“I am currently in a typical example of what you call "slump era".
I managed to get out of a long identity/existential crisis and back to a point of relative serenity/happiness one year ago, but ever since I just feel stagnant. I accepted that I don't need a transcendent purpose or strong sense of self to live and be happy, but still, I wish there was something that drove me forward and kept me grounded.
I think I am at the "stop it, you don't need more information/advice, you just need to be brave/act" point in my self-discovery/growth journey. But I am constantly breaking the promises I make to myself, and that makes it hard to believe in my power to change things.
The lack of meaning fuels my inertia, but my inertia keeps me from creating meaning. I am unsure if it’s a problem of action/accountability or of meaning/spark/drive. How do I keep the promises I make to myself? And how do I make myself want to keep those promises?” Edited for length but thank you so much for this detailed question <3
first of all, HI! thank you so much for being a dedicated member of this community: from reading the weekly newsletters to engaging with my podcast to being a part of my instagram family, it’s messages like this and people like you that fuel my purpose.
I had to edit down the question a lot as not to overwhelm other readers but you make some extremely good points. what I’ve found is that it’s not about the amount of information you take in (“the plan”) but what you do with the information. you have (“the action”). you outline this in your question but I wanted to re-highlight this.
there is no point reading all the self help books on the market if you don’t do anything to implement what they are telling you.
as for the action vs meaning conversation, I would suggest you find a strong ‘why.’ if you’ve heard this before, skip down a few paragraphs! if you’re new to this whole ‘why’ thing, here’s briefly what it is:
a ‘why’ is a strong reason to want to do something. it is arguably the single most important thing in getting anything done: if you want something badly enough, you’ll go out and get it. if you aren’t actively pursuing it, then you just don’t want it badly enough.
examples of a strong why:
I want to improve my mental health because I want to visit all 7 continents before I die
versus: I want to improve my mental health because I want to feel better —> yes, technically this is true, but ‘feeling better’ isn’t a tangible or motivating thing to most people
I want to go to the gym because I want to be able to lift my carry on into the overhead bin without struggling
versus: I want to go to the gym because I want to look better —> again, technically this can be true, but ‘looking better’ isn’t a tangible goal! whereas wanting to lift a 20lb carry on above your head is
so if you find yourself unable to take action (or you’re breaking promises to yourself), start from the beginning and revisit your ‘why’ or your intrinsic motivation.
as for keeping the promises you make to yourself: if you’re finding it hard to stick with big goals like ‘go to the gym 4x a week,’ start smaller. start with 1x a week. start with getting out of bed at the same time every day. start with putting on your gym clothes and shoes, even if you don’t end up going. start with fueling your body each morning. whatever you’re asking yourself to do, start smaller.
by making promises to yourself and sticking with them, you’re building up confidence within yourself. it’s a signal to your brain that yes, your word has meaning and yes, you are reliable. once you can keep the small promises, you can keep the big promises too.
the most common promise the ~self help gurus~ suggest you make is to make your bed every. single. day. without fail. I don’t care if you’re running late. I don’t care if you’re hungover. I don’t care if you’re just not feeling it that day. make your bed.
sorry this week’s advice was a looong one but I honestly just had a lot in my brain that I wanted to share with you all. hope this helps, even a little xo
reading updates
currently reading: the 7 habits of highly effective people by stephen covey (i’ve been trying to read this for forever)
finished this week:
percy jackson and the chalice of the gods by rick riordan
yellowface by r. f. kuang
if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)
I also made a book club channel on instagram! I ask you for recs, you choose my next read, and overall we just talk about books. feel free to join via my profile on ig!
enjoyed this edition?
until we meet again,
katie
I’m sooo glad that someone asked that question because i can relate to it a lot. I feel that, I’ve read many “self help” books and I thought maybe it was my brain bc nothing would properly stick. But reading the newsletter clears a lot of it up. So thank you anonymous person (for asking a question we all benefit from) and Katie (for expanding it) sooo much! xoxo