1-1-1: the adulthood guide book
read the 12 things I wish I knew when I was 18, some resources for financial literacy, and updates from me
september, 2024
edition 47.
hellooooo 1-1-1 readers and future 1-1-1 readers ;)
I’m writing this from (foggy) california, where I am mooching off of my parents’ home cooking and the american sized laundry machine and my comfortable childhood bed for the week before heading back to london. it’s officially autumn, which means I’m not mad at the fog in cali or the rain in london — this season feels the most like ‘acceptance’.
my fall/winter season is also going to be marked with a tight routine: from my 40 hour work week (hello full time job!) to training (half marathon in march, fingers crossed) to studying for the GRE (potential PhD on the horizon… stay tuned), I will become an absolute hermit and I cannot wait.
I’m still getting back into the groove of writing the newsletters and I feel like I’m finding my voice again. that’s a scary thing to do when I have such a lovely and engaged community of substack readers! but I’m committed to showing up in whatever state I’m at and I appreciate the patience (and feedback if you have any!) while I find my footing again.
this newsletter helped me realise that I’m 6 months away from being 25. am I officially in my mid-20s? please send help. okay, let’s get into it then.
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
podcast
there are tons of guest episodes on the podcast from 2024 that are worth checking out — listen to them here <3
one quote
“an old drunk man told me to enjoy my life and have fun because I’m only 24 and I have so many years and so much life ahead of me and then he went ‘and you know what? in ten years when you’re 34 you’ll still be young and have your whole life ahead of you’ and it was really comforting to me.”
—prisonhannibal on tumblr
one journal prompt
list facts about your life right now. reflect on what you five years ago would be in disbelief about.
one piece of advice
“how do I deal with becoming an adult (age 18-23)?”
despite what I titled this newsletter, there actually isn’t a guide to living your adult years. if there was a way to lessen the painful transition between becoming a teenager and becoming an adult, I would hope that I had discovered it by now! (I’m 24). since I’m out of the very turbulent transition period and settling into a job and asking myself Very Big Questions about my Future, here’s everything I wish I knew at 18 instead of 24:
the next five years of your life are going to suck. and it’s not going to suck for reasons you can control, which makes it suck even more. these five years are the most universal period of confusion ever, and surviving them is just kind of a pre-requisite of becoming an adult.
you are allowed to wake up each and every day and reinvent yourself. as someone who studied identity, I know there are many ways to reinvent yourself, including (but not limited to): changing the way you dress, changing the way you speak, trying out a new hobby, declaring a different college major, deciding to go vegan or vegetarian or pescatarian, setting boundaries, dying your hair, and/or changing your name or nickname or pronouns. you aren’t ‘discovering’ yourself — you’re changing your understanding of yourself based on different information. and that’s okay.
you won’t have it all together, and you are not expected to either. I don’t know about you all, but i felt this immense pressure to have my life together at every step. what college are you going to? what do you think you want to major in (which will determine what college you go to)? what friends are you planning on keeping in touch with post-high school, and which friendships will you be okay with letting go? what’s your freshman, sophomore, junior, senior summer internship? what job do you have lined up for yourself after you graduate? if you take a gap year, what’s your itinerary? why aren’t you taking advantage of all of the college resources? even writing out this list of questions is exhausting.
the major you decide at 18 does not need to be the one you graduate with at 22.
it’s okay to not have a summer internship. it’s okay to take a gap year. it’s okay not to know.
it’s okay to be exhausted from it all.
become financially literate. I know, I know. this is the *most* annoying thing and something people nag you about when all you want to do is scroll on tiktok and you’re equating financial literacy with the finance college bros who like to drink lukewarm beer and play an obscene amount of pong. but become financially literate. start saving, start investing. it compounds. here are some resources to start:
female invest (even just following their instagram is a start!)
rich dad poor dad by robert t. kiyosaki (I can’t vouch for this book because I’ve never read it but people I know and trust swear by it)
khan academy’s financial literacy course
some things to start familiarizing yourself with: taxes, stock market (ETF, index funds, etc), saving accounts, checking vs savings, credit card vs debit card, budgeting
trust your gut feeling, if your brain has done enough research about it (i.e. make an informed decision, but don’t ignore a gut feeling)
maybe get a therapist or start looking for a non-biased resource to talk to your mental health about? if it’s accessible to you of course?? it’s always lovely having someone who isn’t involved in your day-to-day life to take a holistic view on problems that seem to be swallowing you whole (I got my first therapist at 18)
realise that you are not “too cool” for anything and embrace it. usually someone who pretends to be “too cool” to do something isn’t having as much fun as someone who embraces their weirdness. trust me, I know.
admit when you are struggling and ask people for help often. it’s a skill and, like any skill in our life, we get better when we practice.
talk to people. even if you only have one other person your age that you feel comfortable confiding in, talk to someone. more often than not, you’ll realise all the struggles you feel overwhelmed by and isolated because of is something another person is going through. there is solidarity (on the bench) (;)) because of it.
ultimately, recognize that this time of your life is extremely tumultuous. there will be a lot of big questions thrown at you and, more often than not, it will make you want to mentally shut down and physically scream. know that it is okay. know that this is a universal experience. know that the days where you enjoy this period of your life outnumber the days where it feels overwhelming.
reading updates
currently reading: ultra-processed people: the science behind food that isn’t food by chris van tullenken
finished this week:
the defining decade by meg jay, PhD
reading challenge: 35/50, 1 book behind schedule
if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)
enjoyed this edition?
until we meet again,
katie
i have been looking for financial resources all day this was perfect timing