1-1-1: the guide to figuring out your 20s
from someone who is both staunchly in it and also convinced I have it figured out already.
may, 2025
edition 76.
not much to say in this edition except for the following:
(1) being an adult is tiring
(2) I am tired.
please enjoy <3
finally, this edition is free but some of my editions will not be. if you find my writing valuable and you want to support my work, please consider becoming a paid subscriber — a monthly subscription is $6, around a price of a coffee. you’ll get access to all of my previous editions, free and paid.
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
podcast
there are tons of guest episodes on the podcast from 2024 that are worth checking out — listen to them here <3
one quote
“if you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station. the longer you stay, the more expensive the return trip will be.”
—japanese proverb
one journal prompt
what are your biggest accomplishments? what are the things you are most proud of? list them, and write a sentence or two detailing why.
one piece of advice
“advice for baby adults who are lost, who are having major fomo, who don't know what they are doing with their lives and who fear screwing up their lives (that's too much ig but I will trust you on this) THANK YOU IN ADVANCE KATIE I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE DOING AMAZING!!”
happy graduation season (again) !!! it always amazes me how fast time flies when I see markers like mid-may — these were dates and times which were engraved in my memory and I would count down towards earnestly while still in school. now, only one year out of school, may is just may to me. (maybe, in some way, it will give you hope that the passage of time isn’t that scary after all).
society pushes us a narrative that we have to have it ‘all figured out’ at different points in our lives. when we’re eighteen, we’re asked to choose a college to study at and then a major ““which will determine the rest of our lives.”” our first job out of college feels like such a big deal: doing something which feels aligned not only with our interests and skills but also our college major feels like the most important goal of all.
we forget that it’s our first time living. it’s our peers’ first time living as well. the people who you think have it ‘figured out’ are probably better at hiding it from the rest of us. our 20s are supposed to be a time where we don’t know what we’re doing. we’re supposed to feel uncomfortable and scrap our five-year plan every couple of months.
amidst all of the ‘project 50’s and the ‘75 hard’s, don’t forget that the creator of these challenges are creating arbitrary rules and guidelines to make navigating our 20s less stressful. if we have something to work towards, it lessens the stress of ‘ahh, I don’t know what I’m doing.’ this is the first time in our life where we can go anywhere and do anything and pursue our passions or move back home — the scary and exciting thing is that it’s all up to us.
if you’re feeling lost, or having fomo, or are nervous that you’re going to make one wrong move and screw the rest of your life up, congratulations! you are smack dab in the middle of the most tumultuous time in your life and there is no way around it.
my advice? don’t be a passive bystander of your own life.
if you feel like you’re floating aimlessly, take charge. choose a direction and swim confidently in it. there will never be a situation where you have perfect information, you will never be able to make ‘the most informed choice’ at a crossroads, but you need to make the decision anyways. realise that nothing is permanent and you are allowed to backtrack and change your mind at any time.
you are not stuck where you are: you are free to move into your parents house again and admit that you’ve made a mistake and cry over the uncertainty of it all. you are allowed* to change directions as many times as it feels comfortable for you. actually, *you should change directions and continue questioning your decisions. you should stop operating on autopilot. your life isn’t written in stone and you shouldn’t act like it.
let yourself feel lost. let yourself feel fomo. let yourself feel like you’re making a big, huge mistake, and then let yourself laugh when you realise it wasn’t as scary as you thought it would be.
welcome to your 20s. it’s weird and wonderful and uncomfortable and deeply gratifying. love, your mid-20s older sister who is also just trying to figure things out.
reading updates
currently reading: the culture of narcissism by christopher lasch
finished this week:
n/a
reading challenge: 14/50
if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)
discount codes
these links are affiliate which means I'll earn commission if you purchase through them. thank you for the support!
Runna: personalised running training plans — katieeu for 2 weeks free
lululemon: my current list of favourite things
enjoyed this edition?
until we meet again,
katie
Hey love this. We are just two girls in our 20s trying to figure out too! We recently started a podcast where we share the lessons we are learning along the way. If you have spare minute would mean the world if you could check out our substack post (we are newbies) or if you prefer listen to the podcast 💗💗
Don't be a passive bystander in your life- damn you just called me out