1-1-1: the self help books actually worth your time

read about my top nine self help books, from someone who reads 100+ books a year.

Mar 11, 2025

march, 2025

edition 68.

hellooo and happy tuesday! I have no idea why the newsletter started on tuesdays but they have seriously become my favourite days of the week because of it.

my home smells amazing because I have not one but three bouquets of flowers: one in the entryway (it makes me feel adult!), one in the living room, and one sitting on the windowsill in front of my desk in my room. as I’ve gotten older, I have really begun to appreciate a lovely floral arrangement (yep, can you tell I’m turning 25 tomorrow?) and there’s something about flowers which makes me feel so put together!

I’m also leaving for new york in a few days (what!) which is a highly anticipated trip for me. I don’t think I’ve ever took a trip so seriously (and so unseriously at the same time) — I made my half marathon playlist and wrote a packing list and mentally prepared the outfits I want to bring. it’s lovely to look forward to something and I know I’m going to have a major anticipation crash afterwards but what’s life without a few ups and downs!! anyways, catch ya on the flippity flip, & you can keep up with me in new york over on my instagram!

finally, this edition is free but some of my editions will not be. if you find my writing valuable and you want to support my work, please consider becoming a paid subscriber — a monthly subscription is $6, around a price of a coffee. you’ll get access to all of my previous editions, free and paid.

you can expect one email from me every week containing:

one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*

* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.

podcast

there are tons of guest episodes on the podcast from 2024 that are worth checking out — listen to them here <3

one quote

“I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how they want to be okay, feel better, and I’m gonna drop some knowledge on you right now.

just the fact that you want to feel okay means you’re getting better. you saying ‘this isn’t where I want to be in life’ means you are looking forward, looking to get better. and just that little bit of motivation means that you are okay, because you’re still alive and still looking forward.

you haven’t lost hope yet, and I’m sure that’s better compared to where you used to be.

I believe in you. keep getting better.”

— recovering-suggestions, via @writers on instagram

one journal prompt

the next time you read a self help book or a really profound mental health-related article, write down the top 3 points. revisit as often as needed.

one piece of advice

*I had to rewrite this as I’m not sure where my other version went — it’s lost in the substack abyss. sorry if you received a newsletter yesterday with the wrong advice section, that’s actually next week’s paid content advice! so if you got it for free and enjoyed it, I hope you would consider subscribing*

“Hey Katie, Since you started early on your mental health journey, what are your top 5 books for improving one's mental health or mindset ?”

absolutely! I have to say, when I was in my early 20s, I always had my nose deep in a self-help book. like, I can walk into any bookstore and confidently say that I’ve read at least 50% of the best sellers in the self help aisle.

you asked for five but I’m going to give my top nine. there are so many different types of self help books and, depending on where you are in your journey, some might resonate more than others. all of my books are in this list on my goodreads for your convenience as well :)

I. general self help

— atomic habits by james clear

there’s a reason why this book is so popular and always tops the best selling charts; unfortunately, it really is that good. if you’re interested in how to create systems, learn how to build better habits, and learn about identity-based thinking, I would highly recommend reading this one.

— the defining decade by meg jay

if I had to recommend just one of the books in this list, it would be the defining decade. it’s so good I’ve read it 4 times, and I try to read it once a year to refresh my memory (although now I have it almost memorized!) it talks about work, relationships, love, and biology in your 20s, and it’s also written by a woman (I find that I prefer women writers in the self help genre but that’s just me).

— 101 essays that will change the way you think by brianna wiest

this is such an OG read for me as well. the essays are all short (2-5 pages each) but I would recommend reading only 1-2 a day over a long period of time (as they can get quite repetitive). it’s broad enough that you’ll find at least a few essays you resonate with, but specific enough that when it does resonate, it feels like a slap in the face (in a good way).

— the power of now by eckhart tolle

this is a super short book and, like atomic habits, extremely popular for good reason. I found that listening to it on audible (on 1.5x the speed) was perfect for me. it does have some elements of spirituality but eckhart tolle has such a unique perspective on life.

II. specific topics in self help

— man enough by justin baldoni

okay okay, putting the whole blake/justin drama aside for a bit, this is actually a really good read. it details justin’s experiences with toxic masculinity in many aspects, including gender roles, mental health, and sexual health. I would recommend this to everyone, not just men — it gave me more insight into men’s mental health.

— how to win friends and influence people by dale carnegie

don’t be thrown off by the publishing year of 1936 like me, this book is a classic for a reason. it talks a lot about social psychology and, if I could sum it up neatly, gives you tips on how to be a better person.

— boundaries by henry cloud and john townsend

this book has some elements of christianity/God but, if you can overlook that (if religion doesn’t really resonate), there are some valuable insights about what boundaries are and how to set appropriate ones. I credit all of my knowledge on boundary setting to this book.

III. trauma, etc (TW)

— waking the tiger by peter a. levine

this book came highly recommended to me by counselors and it was definitely an interesting read. it focuses on how trauma is stored in the body and explains the physical and psychological responses to trauma. TW, it can be a heavy one.

— the body keeps the score by bessel van der kolk

similar to waking the tiger but this one is more closely tied to (TW) sexual assault. this can be a heavy read and I would highly recommend only reading this if you have accessed to a weekly therapist or other similar professional — it can be extremely triggering and bring up a lot of emotions.

and if reading those nine books feel too much for you, you can get valuable insight just from the summaries of them. I’ve compiled a few of them in an instagram post here but I definitely need to make an updated version! if you’ve read a particularly powerful self help book, I’d love to hear which one and why it resonated so much!

reading updates

currently reading: the life impossible by matt haig, 24 hours in ancient china by yijie zhuang

finished this week:

reading challenge: 9/50

if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)

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