1-1-1: what to do with heavy emotions
read about how I navigate overwhelming emotions and my top tips for feeling better on off-days.
june, 2023
edition 21.
helloooo it has been a big reading week for me (honestly, this summer = a big reading summer) and my life has consisted of eating, going to the gym, reading, and going on walks with my dogs. not a bad way to spend the last summer ever <3
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
podcast
no new podcast episode this week — listen to my old episodes here <3
& please consider supporting me to keep this content free — learn how to subscribe to the podcast here.
one quote
“one of the big concepts I learned in therapy that has been revolutionary for me is the concept that sometimes u can just feel feelings and they don’t have to mean anyhting.
like, I can just be sad about something for a little while because it feels cathartic and helpful to let myself be sad, and it doesn’t have to mean anything or change how I act or treat people.
like sometimes u just need to feel an emotion in order to process and work through things, and sometimes it just feels good to let urself be sad about a silly or little thing. and then once it’s out, it’s over, you’ve experienced it and now it’s done so you can move on.
and I don’t have to derive greater meaning from it or do anything about it. I was just sad for a few hours and now I feel better and that’s all that matters.”
—violentviolette on tumblr
one journal prompt
list out all of the emotions you feel (this can be a running list throughout a day or a week) without passing judgement or giving meaning to anything. sometimes you just need to sit and understand what emotions come up (and how they feel)
one piece of advice
“what things do you do to care for yourself when you are feeling big emotions, (like sadness and/or anger), and you are just having a heavy day?”
such a good question — thank you for asking!!
I really resonate with the quote above and thought it would be perfect for this edition of the newsletter. before you think about taking care of yourself, remember that handling your emotions is apart of taking care of yourself. for me, it means acknowledging and validating my emotions (i.e. I’m feeling x emotion right now because of y situation and that’s okay. that’s normal. if someone else was in my position, they would also feel x emotion) and sitting with it, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel.
suppressing my emotions don’t make them feel smaller; in fact, it makes the emotion feel larger and linger for longer. so, step one, is to feel your feelings without guilt or judgement.
some other helpful steps (not in order and definitely not steps you need to take all at once):
reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mentor figure — basically anyone in your support system. if you’re comfortable, talk through how you’re feeling and why you might feel that way. if you’re not comfortable, name the emotion you’re feeling and let them shoulder that burden with you
if you’re physically around people (or will be texting people frequently) and know that heavy days affect how you treat other people (it happens to me and it’s normal!), let them know you’re feeling off (or name the emotion). just giving the people in your life a heads up about how you’re doing will help minimize any adverse reactions if your emotions go haywire, you’re triggered, or you lash out in any way! plus, see the above point, connection and support is helpful too :)
go inwards via journaling or meditation or stillness. whatever will help you reflect and pass through the emotions is KEY (I personally like journaling and writing down how I’m feeling, then trying to connect the dots to explain the feeling. sometimes feelings don’t have explanations and that’s okay, I just find it calming and grounding to search for a meaning all the same!)
distract yourself by physically moving environments: it’s easy to want to keep heavy days to ourselves. trust me, I’ve sat on the bathroom floor or in my car for the better part of a day and just cried it out. there’s a time and space for that! but sometimes changing your scenery and/or distracting yourself with an activity really does help
don’t forget the basics: hygiene, nourishing food, movement, sunlight, connection
reading updates
currently reading: soul boom by rainn wilson, legend by marie lu
finished this week:
warcross by marie lu
wildcard (warcross #2) by marie lu
my grandmother asked me to tell you she’s sorry by fredrik backman
remarkably bright creatures by shelby van pelt
fourth wing by rebecca yarros
if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)
enjoyed this edition?
until we meet again,
katie
Once you sit with emotions. They tend to lose intensity ❤️