1-1-1: you are meant to be here

read about how I cope with feeling out of depth with something new, and some life updates from me!

Oct 01, 2024

october, 2024

edition 48.

it’s the first day of october (whatt!!!!), which means it’s the last quarter (finance bro, sorry) of the year. 3 new months. another chance to reflect and start over and decide you want something different. three more months of unexplored possibilities. how exciting.

it’s currently chucking it down in london and I am missing the uv 7 days of LA from just last week. but I’m backkkk in the city that feels chock full of hope and I’m back with my community and even though life in london is very different from life in new hampshire, I am realising that one is not better than the other and that maybe I like both lives a lot :)

when I’m not exhausted to the bone trying to unpack my silly little life here, I am busy at work (werkin’ 9 to 5 !!) or having laughs with friends over trivia and pints or drafting this newsletter 1 hour before it’s supposed to be sent out (OOPS!) — jetlag is really getting the best of me!!! but it’s also reminding me that I cannot do it all, nor can I expect myself to.

soooo without further ado, let’s reflect on my first month in my Big Girl Job and everything I’ve learned so far, shall we?

you can expect one email from me every week containing:

one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*

* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.

podcast

there are tons of guest episodes on the podcast from 2024 that are worth checking out — listen to them here <3

one quote

“life is not success.

life is not grades or achievements.

life is refreshing naps, drinking your favourite drink, movie night, hugging your best friend, laying on grass, funny videos, seeing your plant bloom, the days getting longer, candles, finding a piece of clothing that’s just ‘so you,’ complimenting people, personal handshakes, that one song, cleansing showers, smelling flowers, cute book or coffee shops, cute prints, finishing a notebook.

this is truly what life is. the smallest things.”

—themoonluvr on tumblr

one journal prompt

what are three moments that brought you joy/love/success that you want to remember from september?

one piece of advice

“how do you deal with being extremely out of your depth when starting something new? i know i should be kinder to myself while still learning, but it really hurts my pride that even though i'm trying really hard to learn, my learning progress is still quite slow & it feels as if it was a mistake to even start this new thing. would appreciate your advice, and i love the content!!”

hiii from someone who just started a new job and did something a little wrong and got told by her boss during my 9pm meeting that this was ‘a really good learning moment’ :’) yep. that’s me.

there have been so many times where I have felt this way in this job! the imposter syndrome is so so loud: it’s telling me that I’m not smart enough or qualified enough or learning quick enough or doing anything right. it’s telling me not to ask for help or admit that I’ve made a mistake or get defensive when someone tries to correct my work. but these are the truths I am holding tight to my core and these are my nuggets of wisdom from someone who feels completely out of her depth as well:

your boss (probably) is not against you and just wants to see you succeed: everyone starts somewhere, and anyone with an ounce of empathy will remember how scary it is to be starting something new for the first time. when you’re being critiqued at work, remember that they’re giving you feedback (however harsh) because they want to see you grow.
you are probably not doing as badly as you think you are: have you tried to explain what you’re doing to someone else? especially someone who has no experience in the field you’re in? if you haven’t yet, try it. more often than not, you’ll realise that what you’re learning or doing is actually quite impressive and hard and you’re not cutting yourself enough slack.
everyone is a beginner when they first start: this one is self explanatory because it’s true, everyone is a beginner. no one expects you to know everything when you start something for the first time. if you knew everything, you wouldn’t be a beginner!
if it’s too hard to focus on being kind to yourself, don’t focus on yourself at all: I find this the most useful when I’m going down a long spiral of self doubt. it’s sooo much easier not to think about all the ways I made a mistake if I actively choose not to think of myself at all.
it’s better to admit that you’re struggling and need help than to grit it out in silence: oftentimes, people appreciate the humility of admitting that you’re wrong as opposed to you suffering in silence. if they can help, they will help. let them. it’s okay not to have all the answers.

& something that might resonate with you:

it’s never a mistake to learn something new. life is for learning and trying and failing and picking yourself back up again and laughing too loud and being embarrassed but doing the thing anyway. after all, it’s not embarrassing if you aren’t embarrassed by it !! x

if you weren’t up for the challenge, you wouldn’t have the opportunity to undertake it. you’re in this position because the universe (or God or whatever you believe in) knows that you are capable enough to overcome this. don’t be afraid — or embarrassed — to be bad at something.

reading updates

currently reading: the wicked king by holly black (#2)

finished this week:

ultra-processed people: the science behind food that isn’t food by chris van tullenken
the cruel prince by holly black (#1)
the lost sisters by holly black (#1.5)

reading challenge: 38/50, 1 book ahead of schedule

if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)

enjoyed this edition?

Share the 1-1-1 newsletter