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1-1-1: you are not behind in life
read about dealing with the pressure of falling behind in life and some kind reminders when you feel stuck
hello!! sorry for literally dropping off the face of this earth without warning. I graduated college on may 13th and immediately moved out of my dorm at 11am the next day. things were hectic to say the least! but now I’m a proud graduate with a double degree in economics and sociology (honours) wooooo!
now that I have an amazing 4 month summer, my social media will be more active and I cannot wait to interact with everyone at full capacity again <3
you can expect one email from me every week containing:
one quote that has been inspiring me
one journal prompt
one piece of advice*
* = if you want to submit a question for my upcoming emails, you can find the form here.
this week’s podcast is my final takeaways from my four years at college. I talk about how to be present, dealing with old flings, and finding my safe spot. it’s basically a therapy session *content warning: it’s vulnerable — listen here <3
& please consider supporting me to keep this content free — learn how to subscribe to the podcast here.
“life is fluid. it’s unpredictable and always changing. and it’s resilient. no single choice is strong enough to make or break your life.
nothing you choose has to be the end of you.
you can always walk down a different path.
you can always close doors that don’t serve you and open new ones that do.
you never have to stay stuck.
there are always options.”
—thought catalog via tiktok
one journal prompt
what are my setbacks? how can I turn these into opportunities?
one piece of advice
“How do u deal with the pressure of falling behind in life? Even though I know it's okay and I have to work hard and be patient, there is always pressure from people around me shaming me and putting me down for not getting where I want to be. Also the social media where everything is about successful people actually make me feel bad about myself that I can't even control it. Any advice for me?”
hello! first of all, thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. I know this is a scary topic to talk about and it can feel extremely shameful to voice and ask for advice on. thank you for your trust!
I want to break this question into all of the different subquestions and answer it that way—
“how do you deal with the pressure of falling behind in life?”
the scary (or somewhat exhilarating) truth of life is that you are never behind. on the flip side, that means you are never ahead either. you are exactly where you are meant to be on your unique path of life. you may be moving slower or faster in comparison to your peers, but you are all on very separate journeys with different timelines.
“Even though I know it's okay and I have to work hard and be patient, there is always pressure from people around me shaming me and putting me down for not getting where I want to be.”
hard work and patience are both the keys to life! if you work hard and throw yourself unapologetically into what brings you joy, you are fulfilling your own life purpose. YOU are the only person you have to impress in this lifetime. not your family, not your friends, not your significant other… you.
additionally, I find that negative comments are more of a reflection of other people’s insecurities than an actual comment on you. the most successful people will not shame others for trying as they know the struggle of putting in the work day in and day out with no results. the people who shame you may be ““further ahead”” than you, but they are miles behind in terms of confidence and security in themselves.
I try to remind myself to not take criticism from the people I wouldn’t seek advice from.
“Also the social media where everything is about successful people actually make me feel bad about myself that I can't even control it.”
social media is a highlight reel! I know we hear that phrase a lot but this is what it really means: no one wants to publicly tell the world they’re struggling. there’s a lot of internalized shame in posting your failures, especially when others only post their successes, so no one does it. people post things on social media to be validated, and posts of their successes will do just that.
if you’re feeling overwhelmed with your social media feed, consider unfollowing or muting (it’s like a soft unfollowing) people. your social media feed is curated to YOU. also remember that social media isn’t that serious — you are free to unfollow and refollow and block and not interact with whoever you want whenever you want.
ultimately, I’ll end with a few of my favourite reminders:
think about where you are now. think about where you were 5 years ago. if you aren’t the same person, that’s proof that you are learning and growing, even if you aren’t growing at the pace you anticipated
don’t be afraid to be seen trying
it is literally impossible to be behind on your unique path in life. you are exactly where you need to be
maybe you need to measure success differently in this phase of your life. if you do, that’s okay. i promise <3
currently reading*: under the whispering door by t.j. klune, brave new world by aldous huxley, heir of fire by sarah j. maas
*= I am really and truly not currently reading anything, but this is what is reflected on my goodreads
finished this week: how will you measure your life? by clayton m. christensen
if you want to keep up with my reading throughout the week, this is my goodreads :)
enjoyed this edition?
until we meet again,