a mini 1: let people clap for you
lessons I've learned from running my own metaphorical marathon.
I love watching marathons.
there’s something so inspiring about watching people fighting through every single step, gritting their teeth to accomplish one of their dreams. understanding the months of training that went into race day and helping everyone celebrate their journey to be there, running their race. but more than that, I love watching everyone who comes out and supports the runners. every single person who yells out for absolute strangers. all of the creative and funny and explicit signs being waved over heads. the joy of the marathon is in the overstimulation and the crowds.
now marathons aren’t for everyone. my sister, for example, avoided the chelsea embankment like a plague. standing with her face in the armpit of a stranger while riding the tube to spectate is her personal hell. it’s a reminder that while something can be all-consuming to one — winter training blocks, running injuries, overspending on gear — there are so many people who will never witness the struggle.
I watched a video recently where someone talked about the meaning of love. she said that people love because they want a witness to their lives: with eight billion people on the planet, we want to know that our lives meant something, that they made a difference to someone. we want someone to know what we ate for dinner as much as we want someone to celebrate our accomplishments. after all, what are the big moments without the mundane ones?
when someone can intimately understand the grit it took to accomplish something like a marathon, it makes the celebration so much sweeter. after all, having someone watch you through the dark training runs, the gels that didn’t sit quite right in your stomach, the race day anxiety, and the energy crash post-marathon feels like being seen.
humans are wired for connection. for community. when we lack friendship or family or a support system, how are we expected to continue? it’s why animals travel in packs and being ostracized is a death sentence.
marathons provide an opportunity for an outsider to peek into your story of struggle and say ‘I see you, and I’m proud.’ it reminds us that the accomplishment is in the process and the race is the celebration.
everyone is training for their metaphorical marathon. whether you’re going through a really tough breakup or you’re confronting a hard truth about yourself, you’re in the training period.
running coaches say you should be running 80% of your runs easy. translation: progress is made even when you’re not pushing yourself to your limits. burning out or ‘crashing out’ are not the achievements you think they are. you’re supposed to go slow and you’re supposed to enjoy the process. if you aren’t, you’re doing it wrong.
sometimes, most times, we won’t get the race at the end. we won’t get to formally celebrate everything we went through to get to this point in our lives. we won’t experience the ‘congratulations’ when the medal is being hung around our neck. this is why we must do it for ourselves.
maybe you didn’t have someone who saw you through the struggle. maybe you won’t have the opportunity to run across a finish line with your hands up in the air. but you have to orchestrate the opportunity to celebrate it anyways. you have to let people stand on the sidelines and scream your name and watch you fight towards accomplishing one of your dreams.
before you move the goalpost again, celebrate all that you have done to get here.
if you liked this, consider staying for more thoughts on:
our relationship with technology and social media, as a content creator
mental health advice columns from someone who doesn’t know it all
grief, love, and letting go
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“running coaches say you should be running 80% of your runs easy. translation: progress is made even when you’re not pushing yourself to your limits” love this quote :)
Loved this !