a mini 1: I want my time back

it was never actually about reducing your screen time.

my last post on my phone usage completely blew up on instagram which has been an overwhelming experience to say the least. to those who have subscribed because of it, hi and welcome! I hope you enjoy my other content on mental health and emotional wellbeing and decide to stick around. this is my third edition of ‘a mini 1,’ short essays I write about a topic I want to expand on, outside of the regular tuesday newsletters.

people feel up in arms about what I said about music in my last mini 1 so, in an effort to continue the conversation, let me explain: it’s not about your screen time, it’s about your level of stimulation.

somewhere close to mt chitina, alaska. june 2022.

when I was first starting my recovery journey from mental illness, I made a playlist called ‘main character energy.’ these were all songs that made me feel some type of way (think mr. blue sky by electric light orchestra and american teen by khalid) — powerful, unstoppable, important, and like the protagonist in my own coming-of-age film.

I played these songs all the time: brushing my teeth became a cut scene where I transformed from bed head to beautiful; studying for a science test was a time lapse with my hand moving rhythmically over the page; time with friends felt like an endless summer day. for a while, making a soundtrack to my life kept me alive and helped me find joy in the mundane.

stills from ‘a secret life of walter mitty,’ DOP Stuart Dryburgh.

cut to four and a half years later and I was a slave to pressing ‘play.’ getting out of bed required a song to fit my mood that day, so I would go on an endless scroll through my 64 perfectly manicured playlists to find the right one. but how many times could I listen to northern attitude and feel something when hozier let out his yell?

this realisation, that I was obsessed with any sort of stimulation, came a few weeks after I broke up with short form content. in truth, I found the process to go something like this:

1. decide you are sick of your social media habits and delete tiktok “once and for all” (but you promise yourself this time will actually stick)

2. crave dopamine hits in any form

3. find yourself on either youtube shorts, facebook reels, linkedin shorts, or a combination of all three. use their bad algorithms to ween you off short form content

4. replace constant scrolling with youtube video essays or the new netflix show or endless episodes of your favourite podcast. tell yourself this is ‘more healthy’ than scrolling for hours

5. realise that it was never tiktok that was addicting, but the mind-numbing overstimulation you convinced yourself was ‘a way to wind down’

spotify and I have tentatively gotten back together, and I think that’s okay. my experience of cold turkeying music made me realise that I do, in fact, love music. I just don’t need to consume it at the rapid rate I was doing before. now my music consumption feels controlled and not gluttonous — I’m more likely to notice when my playlist gets to the “recommended for you” songs because I am consciously choosing my music.

via pinterest

taking walks without headphones or commuting with your thoughts aren’t things on a to do list to be checked off. action for action, and not action for reason, is almost adopting a herd mentality. it’s like saying andrew huberman told me to take magnesium, so I will take magnesium before bed — yes, but do you understand why?

destimulation is important. think about it like a mind-body connection at the gym: you gain muscle from doing a bicep curl, but you will get more out of it if you’re consciously thinking about the muscles expanding and contracting to move the weight. walks are important, but walks where all of your senses are activated will provide more benefits than walks with your noise cancelling headphones.

having time where our brain can filter thoughts and store things to our long term memory is important. overstimulation is so normalised in our society that just a mention of an activity with no background music was enough to cause controversy in the comments of my post. we are addicted to stimulation: short form content, fast fashion, the latest netflix show…

right now, while you are taking a stand against social media addiction and screen time and consumption in all forms, I’m urging you to reflect on the way you use music as well.

I’m on a journey to reclaim my life from the people and things I didn’t realise stole it.

by Jordan Kae

---

I have so much more to say about everything, including:

• how I stay up to date with the news sans-social media

• long-form low-stimulation activities and hobbies I’ve been loving

• our need to make everything a social media

• capturing everything is hurting our long term memory

if you enjoyed this and want to read more, consider subscribing. I have a weekly newsletter with 1 quote, 1 journal prompt, and 1 piece of advice (1-1-1) which goes out every tuesday.

this mini 1 is free, so please feel free to share this post with a friend and leave a comment to join in on the discussion.